Asking for less shrinks the distance. It's about providing stepping stones and in doing so, making that final ask ever closer, ever more reachable. But when someone's really dug in, there's one more technique that's often useful, and that's to switch the field. Find a dimension where there's already agreement and using that as a pivot point. Check out an example here of how Heineken used this approach recently in an ad of there's. It's pretty funny. Watch what they did. I would describe my political views as the new right. I'd say that I'm left. Feminism today is man hating. I would describe myself as a feminist 100% I don't believe that climate change exists. We're not taking enough action on climate change. I think is about time these people got off the high horses and start looking for credible problems that actually exist. It's actually critical that trans people have their own voice. That's not right. You're a man, be man. You're a female, be a female. Women do need to remember that we need you to have our children. Could I be friends with somebody that says that the woman's place is in the home? Okay. Well, I'm an expert at flat packs. If you have any trouble, just watch me. I've got your instructions here. I think so. Let me help you. It's just that bit there. Describe what it is like to be you in five adjective. Okay. Frustrating. Dedicated. Opinionated. Lucky. Ambitious. Offensive. Solemn. I have ups and downs. Strong. I want to say attacked, misunderstood. Name three things you and I have in common. We're both male, we're both confident, and we're both loudly spoken. We know each other better than people who've known each other for 10- minutes should. You seem quite ambitious and positive and you got a glow. I'm trying to say your aura is pretty cool. I'm sensing, are you former military or something? People say that but there is none. There is no history. Are you then-- Ex. Ex-military? Yeah. If you're ex-military, I'm very proud of you already. I grew up in a bit of a rough state. I've experienced homelessness. I've known what it's like to have absolutely nothing. Yeah. So yeah, I'm definitely most grateful just for life. We've only just met, but I think you're the sort of person that would listen to me and we'd have a discussion rather than an argument. Yeah. You're good to hang out with, man. Lets go. Mind your hand. Goodness sake. You all right, mate? I am fitter than I look. Perfect. Yeah. There you go Basically, I think we just built a bar. Yeah. Okay. There you go. Each take a bottle and place it on its corresponding markings on the bar. Attention. Please now stand to watch a short film. Feminism today is definitely an excuse for misandry, man-hating. If somebody said to me that climate change is destroying the world, then I'd say that is total piffle. Transgender, it is very odd. We're not set up to understand or see things like that. I am a daughter, a wife. I am transgender. I feel like the battle of feminism definitely isn't done. The fight is never going to be over if I'm honestly with you. You now have a choice; You may go or you can stay and discuss your differences over a beer. I'm only joking. You had me for a second there. Well, I'm having a drink. I'm having a drink. Yeah. I would discuss. Beer. Yeah. Beer and discuss. Cheers. I've enjoyed working with you. Even if you wanted to convince people about your point, the productive thing to do would sit down and have beer. To engage. I have been brought up in a way where everything is black and white, but life isn't black and white. Yeah, I'm just me. Yes. Smash the patriarchy. I will give you my phone number and you give me yours, and we'll keep in touch. I would have to tell my girlfriend that I will be texting another girl. She might be a bit upset with that, but I will have to get around that one. I'll have to tell my girl. She'll have to rump it. This content is pretty amazing and it's also powerful. But if you think about why it works, it works because it finds an unsticking point. Rather than starting with the contentious issue or the field in which people are far apart, already, finds a dimension where they're closer together, where they agree rather than when they disagree. What I'll call an unsticking point. When asked about transgender rights, abortion, or any complex, politically related topic, it's easy to shoot things down that fall in the region of rejection. Staunch Conservatives are sitting on their own 10-yard line, and transgender rights is in the region of rejection all the way on the liberal half of the field. So instead, what smart change agents do is they change the conversation. Rather than starting with that tough issue, that thing that seems divisive, what we can think of as a sticking point, they start with common ground, something everyone else can rally around. Then only after building that initial connection to people, ultimately bend around and pivot to the key issue at hand. Finding a sticking point means switching the playing field from one where two teams are dug in on different ends to one where everyone's on the same team. Have a boss who doesn't support an initiative because they think will cost too much? Dealing with a colleague who doesn't believe in company culture because they think it's too squishy? Switch that field, find an unsticking point. Even someone might seem like an adversary on one-dimension, there is probably more to them than that. Rather than pushing harder down the same block path, explore related directions where they're not so dug in. Points of agreement like making sure the company continues to grow or employee retention stays high. Start with that. Start with areas you agree and build and move from there. We talked about distance is that third main barrier to change. Reactance highlights that people push back when they feel like someone is trying to persuade them. But even let's just about information or evidence, distance matters. If things are too far from where people are currently, it falls in the region of rejection and it gets discounted or ignored. To categorize change, then we have to start by finding the movable middle. People from the change is not as large, who would be used to help to convince others. When we're trying to change those who are further away, be like the doctor, start by asking for less. Take big change, break it down into smaller, more manageable chunks or stepping stones. Ask for less before asking for more. Finally, we need to find an unsticking point. Start with the place of agreement and pivot from there. Use it to switch the field. Connecting these parallel direction should move people enough to see the initial topic differently, and maybe even change a little along the way.
