Let's talk about providing a menu first. This is one of my favorites, and I think it's an easy strategy to apply in almost every area of your life. Imagine you want to encourage someone to do something. You want the boss to fund a particular new project or you want the client to do something different than they've been doing previously. You've suggested a particular course of action, call it X, and you're pushing or prodding or lightly reminding them why X is a good idea. As we talked about, unfortunately they're not just sitting there thinking what you're saying is great, they're counter-arguing against you. Thinking about all the reasons you're suggesting is wrong. Think about, for example, when a friend or spouse asks what you want to do this weekend and you say we could go see a movie. Rather than just saying yes, that other person often thinks about all the reasons why they don't want to do it. It's going to be a nice day outside. We could go out to dinner instead. And so they end up thinking about all the reasons why it's wrong rather than it's right. And so in these situations do something subtle, but importantly different. Rather than giving people one option, give them at least two, give them a choice. Rather than saying hey, we could go out to a movie, say well, we could go out to a movie or we could go out to dinner. Rather than telling the boss hey, we could do one course of action, say we could fund this new project or we could do this other one. Notice what this does differently. Rather than think about all the reasons why what you suggested is wrong, the person now has a different role. They're sitting there thinking well, which of those two options that you gave me do I like better? Rather than counter-arguing, they're thinking about which one fits better for them. And because of that, they're much more likely to go along with what you suggested. And this idea of providing a menu is used all the time. Smart consultants, for example, know that rather than giving clients one option, they often give them two or three. Because they know if they provide just one option to the client, the client will say it's too expensive or it's not going to work. But if they provide two options the client now is sitting going well, which of these two do I like better? And because they're think about which one they like better, they're much more likely to choose one at the end. Parents even do this with their kids. When you ask your kid to do something in particular, put on your shoes or eat your dinner, your kid goes no, I don't want to. And so rather than doing that, parents give them a choice. What do you want to do first, put on your shoes or your shirt? What do you want to eat first, your broccoli or cauliflower? Now rather than going against you, reacting against your message, the kid is trying to figure out which one they want to do more, and so they're more likely to go along with what you suggested. Providing a menu gives people bounded choice. Notice it doesn't give people infinite choice. I'm not saying give people 20, 30, 50 different options. I'm saying giving them a small set, at least two, so that now they have more freedom and autonomy, now they can participate in the decision-making process. When you go to a restaurant, for example, they don't let you choose anything you want. You go to an Italian restaurant, you can't have Chinese food or Japanese food or a number of different things. They've given you choice. There are at least five different entrees on the menu, but it's bounded choice. It's a small, limited set of options that allows you to feel like you're choosing, but also allows them to set the stage. And we can use this in a variety of different situations. Think about when hiring people, for example, there's often a negotiation that happens. A new potential hire feels like they have to negotiate on salary, so they push back. If you give them just one dimension to push back on, they'll ask for more. You offer 100, they'll ask for 110. You offer 150, they'll ask for 160. Whatever you offer them, they'll ask for more. So rather than doing that, give them a choice. Say, I can give you a little bit more money, but it means fewer days off. Or I can give you more equity in the business, but it means lower salary. By giving them the trade-offs, they get an opportunity to choose. Now rather than thinking about what's wrong with your suggestion, they're figuring out which of those two options they like better. And they're much more likely to go along with one of them at the end of the day.
