[MUSIC] I suggest practicing coaching frequently, there are times when I recommend against coaching though. When you have a very specific outcome and you want the direct report to accomplish that outcome in a very specific way. There's no room for them to use their own thinking or creativity, don't coach just tell them what you want them to do and how. There might be processes required by safety regulations or that reduce the financial risk. In these cases state clearly what you expect, ensure the employee understands the directions and has any resources they need. Perhaps observe at the start, to ensure they are completing the work as expected, and then get out of their way. Remember coaching is about the other person, they are learning and development, and delegating cannot always be combined with learning. When you are in a hurry or the task needs to be done immediately, don't coach people are not efficient. Save the coaching conversation for when you have the time to listen, and ask deeper questions. Now I did say that coaching conversations could be 30 second conversations in the hallway, or one hour sit down meeting. But if you can see that what you thought would be a 30 second conversation is going to take more time, it's better just to say that to the other person. Than to pretend you're listening and coaching, you could say it sounds like I could help more if I had more time to focus on this. Can you meet me at look at your calendar and choose the time, if you feel unable to drop your own biases about the best decision you think there is one right answer, don't coach. You will find yourself trying to lead the other person to your answer in the way you frame your questions. Leading questions do not expand others capabilities, and they don't facilitate their mutual sharing of ideas and information. When you cannot respond with composure to the other person's strong emotions, you are likely to show something on your face or say something that will shut the other person down. The conversation will lose its interactivity and you won't be coaching, I do not mean that you should be an automaton. Of course you will have emotional responses, I do mean that if you're feeling a negative emotion strongly, you are likely to express it. And if you feel personally attacked or affronted, you might have lost perspective, coaching conversations are not about us. The coach, they're not about our hurt, just disappointment, frustration, irritation, embarrassment, et cetera. And if you didn't realize you would feel strongly when you began coaching, but during the conversation you recognize you're getting say angry. You can pause the coaching, just ensure you do so in a way that avoids blaming the coachie, I'm getting frustrated right now. I would like to pause our conversation and come back to it when I've had some time to think, are you available at 3 PM? Keep the purpose of coaching in the front of your mind at all times, coach when you want the person to learn how to learn. When you want to expand their capacity to think on their own, and make their own decisions. When the other person has internal motivation and drive, telling them how to do every deliverable can reduce that. Use their internal drive to coach them to reach their potential, coach when you want to make the full use of others privately held information. When you want to build a long term coaching relationship, and when you want to learn from them. Coach when you're capable of letting go of control over the content of the conversation, while still maintaining control of the process. And remember people can change, you must believe in your own and other people's capacity for growth and improvement to coach well. Sometimes we keep people where they are even as we ask them to change, if you think your direct report is static, they will feel that in your attitude toward them. Notice when people do things well, not just when they do things wrong, even if it's a small improvement, say something. Thank you for coming to the meeting on time, that helped ensure we stay on track in the agenda. Good job on this report, I see you have included nearly every issue we've discussed, your team's on time record is improving well done. Research by Emily Heaphy and Marshall Losada, showed the top performing teams make more than five positive comments for every critical comment. The highest performing teams ratio was 5.6 positive to negative comments, medium performing teams offered twice as many positives as negatives. It sounds like a lot until you realize that, they might be more productive with just a few more positive comments. And the poorest performing teams, they made almost three negative comments for every positive one. You do want to hear and offer some criticism, HBR authors Zenger and Folkman say criticism is needed to overcome serious weaknesses. And guards against complacency and groupthink, their research showed that leaders who received the most criticism improved the most. It is not about avoiding negative feedback, it's about the ratio of positive to negative feedback. The purpose of the negative feedback, and the framing of the negative feedback that matters. They argue that only serious weaknesses should be criticized, for the most part, focusing on a person's strength is more likely to lead to their commitment. And therefore their energy and attention on continuing what they're doing well, and on improving their weaknesses. So yes, coach when there are performance challenges, but keep an eye out for people doing good work. State your appreciation, approval and admiration when there are performance improvements, and coach even when things are going well. Remember coaching is a mutual conversation that follows a predictable process, and leads to superior performance, commitment to sustained performance and positive relationships.