Managers can use the coaching skills and process effectively whether the coachee brought a concern or opportunity needing exploration to the coach or the coach brought these to the coachee. Yet, when there is a performance shortfall, there are a few extra things to keep in mind. The coachee is likely to feel a negative emotion as soon as the problem is brought up, and that can interfere with the interaction needed for coaching. Usually, they will feel defensive or apologetic. Sometimes they'll feel ashamed or resentful. The coach must be all the more focused, on ensuring the four characteristics of coaching conversations are present. These are, they are interactive, respectful, future-focused, and use a logical process. The coaching skills must be brought to bear. Actively listening, interviewing, reflecting, demonstrating respect, recognizing the other person's stress, and summarizing, if accurate, also authentically self-disclose. Being respectful and aware of the other person's negative emotions, especially not meeting them with your own is crucial. I once had a boss who criticized my work, and when I attempted to explain why I had done the things that I did, a typical defensive mechanism. He responded with, ''Don't you know, how hard this is for me?'' That's shut me up. But it did so because I felt guilty for making things hard for someone else, not because I bought his criticism. Shutting the coachee down does not lead to an interactive conversation and therefore does not lead to learning. Yes, it is hard to criticize someone's work, but the manager has to manage their own emotions, not ask it of their direct reports. As the coach, our job is to let that person express their own emotions while maintaining our composure. I am not saying you need to agree with what the coachee says. I am saying, we must understand their expression of emotion. Practice all of the coaching skills every chance you get, so they're easy to access when you must coach on a performance shortfall. The process will basically be the same open, learn, plan, close. In the opening stage, the highest likelihood is that the coach is bringing up the problem. The coach must invite the coachee into a coaching conversation and express the performance shortfall. What do you do if the coachee declines the coaching? It might depend on their reason, which in this case they do need to express. They may not be able to be involved in a conversation right now because their emotions are too strong and in this case, set up a meeting for the next day. They might want to solve the problem on their own without your coaching input. In that case, give them a date by when they will provide you with an action plan. If when you see the plan, you do not believe it will solve the problem, then you probably have a larger performance issue that needs a firmer hand to resolve. If things have gotten that far, I recommend documenting the situation and sending the documentation to human resources. You might need to even begin a performance action plan. Not documenting it could open you up to some liability in the future. Start the performance conversation by describing the performance you see and the performance needed. Do not ask them to guess what their shortfall is, and don't hope they will bring it up. I often hear new coaches say things like, ''Hey, how's it going with your team or how's it going with your research or how do you feel your presentation wear?'' Hoping the employee will say, well, I'm having some troubles or not well, but when the person says, great, the coaches left having to say, that's not what I hear or that's not what I thought. Now the coachee feels like they've been trapped. Not a good way to gain their involvement in a conversation. Begin by clearly stating the specific challenge you want to discuss and only that challenge, not everything they have ever done that is problematic, and focus on the future state you seek. If you do not have a specific future and state in mind, you're not ready to coach, take charge of your team, or clean up the report or be more professional or not specific end states. Here are some examples of opening statements that define the performance gap and invite the person into a coaching conversation. Our customers expect our repair teams to show up at their site on schedule. We have received three complaints about late arrivals from customers in your region in the last week alone. There are many legitimate reasons for lateness, but three in one week is concerning enough that I would like to work through a plan with you for getting your teams to their sights on time. Let's meet this afternoon at 4:00 pm. Please come prepared to discuss what you think might be in the way of the team arriving on time. What, if anything, you have done so far to remediate it? Any ideas you have for remediating it going forward? I expected to see a draft of your proposal yesterday morning at 9:00 am. This is the third time a deliverable has been late. I would like to discuss a deadline for this draft that you can meet. Then I would like to set a plan in place so that you can meet future deadlines. Could you look at where you are now and give me the most accurate date and time, but when you believe you will have a solid draft for my review, then let's put on our calendar as a time to meet later that same day to discuss plans for setting deadlines in the future. The presentation today covered most of the topics we discussed and your preparation on those was clear in your accurate responses to questions. You skipped one of the key topics, and as we discussed it at length, I was surprised. I would like to ensure that in the future, all key issues are included in your presentations. To that end, perhaps understanding what led to your decision to drop the topic will help us plan for the future. What are your thoughts on that? The invitation is firmer. I would like to but still gives the coachee room to respond with. I would like to try to work through a plan on my own. Regardless, when you begin a coaching conversation, you must clearly express your view of the current performance and your vision of the end state you seek. No matter how respectful and clear you are, you should expect some discomfort on the coachee's part. Most people do not like to feel we have led others down and even those who do not care about others usually do care about their own status. Any criticism is uncomfortable to hear. To avoid the discomfort, some coachees will put up a wall around themselves as protection. A wall of defensiveness, shame, or the expression of any strong emotion to shut down the coach. Many of us will tiptoe around someone who expresses strong emotions for fear of setting them off. The coach must do all they can to create an environment that reduces defensiveness and shame while still being clear and direct. Some ways to do that are one, to focus on the change you seek and not on blame. Make it easier for people to hear the content of your message and partner with you in solving problems by asking them to own solutions and not own the problem. There's only a slight difference in what can you do to resolve this and why did you do that? Yet there is a massive difference in the person's openness to hearing and responding to the former. Two, check you were not venting. If the desired end state is not clear to you or if you're feeling strong emotions yourself, now is not the time to coach. Resentment, frustration, irritation. Your emotions will shine stronger than your words. Trying to control your emotions is unlikely to work. Instead, ask yourself, am I just venting, or am I trying to effect change? If you're venting, type out the whole story on a blank document or tell it to your best friend outside of work or give a therapist, but do not vent in the name of coaching. Three, do not try to soften the blow with what you think will be easier conversation starters. How's it going will only lead to the other person feeling blindsided when you say you don't think it's going well. Remember to coach, the coachee must trust you. Soft pedaling does not build trust. Four, neither does pretending to be concerned about the other person or saying harsh things that even if they're true are not relevant to the coachee's performance. These conversations are more difficult than regular coaching conversations, but usually, they are not as bad as we imagine they will be unless we have led a small problem to get big or even intractable. Don't wait to coach. Frequent feedback prevents big uncomfortable conversations. Say stuff when it's small and manageable, just express them as small. Hey, I noticed you relate to the last three meetings. It's only five minutes, which is no big deal generally, but we do start off our meetings with stating our purpose, and by missing that, I believe you are not able to give your best ideas. What can you do to get to meetings on time? Or, hey, I noticed that the last three times you are on the schedule to close down the equipment for your shift end, the closing checklist was not filled out. It seems like a small thing. I know you know, all of the steps. But the incoming shift needs to see that every step was completed. It's a safety issue. What can you do to not just check off the full sheet, but literally check each step off as you complete it? Lastly, the more you practice the coaching skills and process, the more comfortable you will be, and the better you will get. Those whom you coach on a regular basis, maybe less defensive about being coached, on a performance shortfall, because they trust you to coach them when things are going well. Because they too will have practice being coached, and that takes some getting used to.
